This is 17 year old Janvi writing to you, typing furiously on her laptop, hoping that by the time you’re 30, you have better gizmos and you’re not technologically-challenged. I’m half-hoping you’re reading this on some cool gadget while sitting on a cloud – Preferably one that’s shaped like a chocolate.
The reason I decided to write was because I thought you should know what a lost, confused teenager you have been. I know that the last thing you want to read right now is some 17 year old ranting about how nothing is perfect in her life and how it is the end of the world and you’re probably shaking your head in annoyance, just about now. But, hear me out.
I’m not writing to vent out about the tragic state of things in my life. I’m just writing to remind you of me – hoping that you’ve changed a lot since the awkward, nerdy teenager and yet, in essence, you’re the same person. I hope you still love writing and you haven’t given up on your blog. Are you still writing occasional journal entries? I know that being three decades old isn’t exactly a child’s play and that it doesn’t give you enough time. But I hope that it hasn’t stopped you from shelling out a rant or a love poem.
Speaking of which, I hope you still believe in love and “the one” and destiny and all that. I’m assuming that life has probably given you many moments when you’ve wanted to give up. But, please, I hope you haven’t – for a romantic 17 year old’s sake. I also hope that you’ve found more people to love, and you’ve realized how the definition of love changes with age. I’m sure love at 30 isn’t the same as love at 17, or is it? I’m sure loving a man is different from loving a pubescent boy. And I know that boys break hearts – I hope that men at least do it gracefully.
I hope that even after celebrating 30 birthdays, you haven’t stopped loving them and waiting for them impatiently. Do you still plan your birthday party six months in advance? Because that’s authentic, teenage Janvi. I wish that you’re still a chocoholic – 17 year old Janvi is nothing, if not a chocoholic. And I hope that you’ve learnt how to make chocolate at home, at least by now.
I hope that you’ve made mistakes in life – lots of them. But I also hope that you don’t regret any one of them. I hope that each one of them has taught you something meaningful – especially the mistakes you made when you were 17.
I hope you miss who you were at 17. I hope you’re glad you’re not 17 anymore.
With love, respect and memories,
17 year old you.